In the Spirit of Christmas 2010

Christmas is almost here. Do your kids have a list a mile long?  Surprisingly, mine don’t this year.  But, the few things they want are expensive.(oh, the journey from kid to young adult has begun.) This is not the year to be anything but frugal.  At least, that’s the case in my house and in most of my friends homes.

To help my children understand how lucky they really are, I pulled out my photo album filled with pictures of my trip to Peru.  I was about 13 and spent over a month living right outside of Lima during a trip with my aunt and uncle,  a native of Peru. We stayed with his family and if only I’d had the 7 years of Spanish I took through high school and college back then.

I wish all children could have an opportunity like the one I had.  We arrived in Lima via Lufthansa Airlines in the middle of the night.  I barely remember the drive to Tia Maria’s house.  I had on a thin long-sleeved shirt with no coat.  It was July and very warm when we left the States  I kept hearing them fawn over me that it was “muy frio”.  They worried that I was cold. I did learn quickly that no means no in both languages to tell them I felt fine.

Over the month that I spent immersed in the culture, I did many wonderful things.  I toured catacombs, ate my first real churro (not the bad knockoffs we sell here in the US), octopus, oysters and my absolute favorite-anticuchos (cow’s heart). Luckily they didn’t tell me what it was first because I would have missed out on something really tasty.  I remember some very wonderful celebrations and may have been allowed to drink anise, if my memory serves correctly.  We once stuffed 11 people into a Volkswagen Bug, a very popular car when I was there. I do not remember anyone’s houses having tons of toys for their children. We happily played together and spent time outdoors using our imagination even with my limited but gradually increasing understanding of the language.

We  flew to Cuzco and went to Lake Titicaca and the ancient Incan ruins.  That’s the first place I ever left my mark in the world, having thrown up violently after running to catch up to my aunt. I stayed behind on a large stone due to fatigue from the trip and several people had gathered around me offering their wares for sale (which I couldn’t translate at the time.) I didn’t understand altitude and it’s effects on the body back then.

I made the fantastic journey by train that takes you through just about every terrain possible going to Macchu Picchu.  I watched as we left Macchu Picchu’s peak while young boys raced  straight down the mountain to beat our serpentine traveling rickety old bus.  When the bus stopped at the bottom, the boys brought out their buckets asking us for money if we appreciated their “trick”.  That may have been the only money their family bought in.

Living in the two-story house in Peru brought several things to my young mind.  There was running water, but no hot water.  Once a week or so, we would travel to my uncle’s ‘rich’ friend, Tony Baella’s to take a hot shower.  In between visits was just a cold water sponge-off.  Water to drink needed boiled to be safe.  Every day we traveled a few blocks to get bread and food for the day.  I slept through a pretty big earthquake.  I learned real fear for the first time as militant shots rang out a few streets away from our house.  People in town often singled me out when I went out because of my fair hair and hazel eyes.  It was an odd feeling to be pointed at and followed because I was different from everyone else.

This was absolutely the best trip I have ever taken and at the best time of my young impressionable life.  I came home a completely different person.  I was not the egotistical, bratty teenager as I grew older. I appreciated the little things as well as the  big things that  we have available to us here in our great (and imperfect) country.  I did not grow up expecting or demanding things and money and to this day I work for everything I get. I give when I can even if I can only afford time.

I can’t take my children on a month long trip to another country right now …or even to parts of our own country that aren’t doing so well.  I can only spread the message that they are already very rich because of the time and place in which they live. I hope to impart on them the real values in life and show them how destructive it is to be greedy.

I think as parents we sometimes feel guilty when we can’t or won’t give our children every little whim of an item they want.  If we realize that we give them so much  and encourage them to understand how their lives are infinitely richer than so many other children in this world, we can feel that scaling back on the “stuff” in life is a success.

In our home we are going to try some youth volunteer programs soon and possibly talk to service members who can share stories of children in war-torn areas. We are not sending Christmas cards to family and friends this year(Love you all- Merry Christmas!). Instead the kids are signing and decorating cards to send to local nursing homes and shut-ins. We are participating in toy collection programs and choosing gifts for kids in my own kids age ranges.

I would love to hear your ideas on how to show your children how much they really have- even when they don’t have it all or have what the next door neighbor owns.  Any successful stories out there?

Simply Put- The Spirit of Giving, especially at Christmas, is not about giving the biggest, best, or most expensive but in learning to respect and appreciate the little things all year round.

Football, Facebook and Faux Pas’

I am not one to  rant- often.  I always try to make a positive out of a negative.  This one’s  a stretch, even for me.

Here’s my issue- some people have no boundaries or common sense when it comes to posting on social sites.  I had an “emotional allergic reaction” after watching Sunday Night football.  I hesitated writing this post because I couldn’t see how to give you a positive story after the things I read.

After the Sunday night Steelers-Patriots football game I was a little disheartened. I’m saddened by the fact that many of my Steeler Nation neighbors displayed poor taste in commentary as a result of our team’s  loss.  Comments on Twitter held a wide range of emotion. The hashtags were jumping of course. And Patriots fans were having their way with us.  A bit of EA (from)Sports – Emotional Attitude  from Sports as I am calling it.  They deserved the moment because their team played a fantastic game.

We didn’t.

Rightfully so,  Pittsburgher’s (and I extend that to all Steeler’s fan’s no matter where you live) were upset with the game. It was seriously disappointing, but I dealt with it. It’s one game. It was a bad loss.  They made mistakes that need  improvement. And we need a healthy team.  Enough said.

Except that for some people it isn’t enough said.  LaMarr Woodley tweeted a couple of hours after the game “Man that one stings..but gotta regroup and  get focused on beating oakland”  It also posted to his Facebook page. This is where the game went bad for me.

The comments left for Woodley ranged from “hang in there”, “We still love ya” to  “can’t win em all…gotta do better in the red zone” and  couch potato coaching in long form. Okay, he’s made a public page where anyone can comment, so he knows he has to deal with criticism as well as praise.  The problem for me was that not all comments were directly intended for him.

I was going to give some of the specific comments, but I would rather not encourage the abusive behavior that went on in some of those comments. I went back into the feed today and think that some of the worst may have been removed. Kudos to commenters who called out those who made inappropriate comments.  And a big pat on the back to Mr. Woodley for posting this yesterday:

Yall need to do me a favor and refrain from cursing and what not on my page please.. i got a ton of fans who are kids and they dont need to be around that.. thx for understanding

I’m not sure if the “what not” refers to using  his page to post homophobic slanders against William Gay for his performance Sunday night(yeah, like he has never heard that before) .  Or maybe it  addresses those people who think it’s okay to request that he ask management to get rid of Jeff Reed or William Gay and the three or four players they wanted axed.  Come on. They are a team. Win together, lose together.  Management is going to decide who stays and who goes and when (i.e. Jeff Reed), not LaMarr Woodley or any other individual player.

If I went to your place of employment and saw someone who wasn’t doing their job or was not giving it 100% , would it be okay if I posted it to your FB page and asked you to tell your boss she needs to fire him?

I have seen my own friends on Facebook do similar things. They talk about others as if those people will never know about their status updates or comments.  Have you seen this? It makes me cringe. I am far from a perfect person.  If I do something that makes you unhappy, please come tell me- don’t post my mistake to the rest of the world (at least, without giving me a chance to fix it.)  Talk to the person, not the page.

I realized before I started writing this that the world (or people in it) does not always make a positive impact on me, but that I can always try to make a positive impact on the world.

To do that, I am going to give you my tips for using Facebook better.

1.  If it’s not your story to tell…don’t tell it.  If it didn’t happen directly to you, maybe you should think twice about how the other people would be affected if you did.

(I learned that one  in college(SRU) with the girls on my floor in the dorm.)

2. Would you say that in front of your mother?  Think about it.

3.  Would you say it to the person if you two were having a real life conversation?  Would you say it that particular way?

4.  Would you like it if someone said it about you?

5.  Are you emotional about an issue?  Would you post it differently if you waited 24 or 48 hours?  Will it still matter to you in 24-48 hours?

6.  Why are you sharing the information?  If it is just to be hurtful, why not try being the better person this time?

We share a world where we can communicate with one another more often and across more settings than ever before.  For good or not, everyone is now privy to our business. Social media is certainly an effective tool for change.  I’m not saying we should be all rosy and accepting of everything.  I am just asking that when we can’t, we use a little tact, decency, and common sense to promote, motivate and inspire the changes we want to see happen.

If you agree, share this with your Facebook friends. Maybe we can spread some positive change.  Have any other things that you’ve seen that bother you?  Share a comment (please be general, we don’t want to make anyone feel bad).

Simply Put-’ Think before you speak’ applies to the internet too.

(I had to add this link. It was tweeted after I posted. Longer list of tips and pointers than mine and very to the point:

Calling “BS” in Social Media.)